It's hard to even write about August 19th!

Today I'm feeling good. Yesterday was a hard day, but good at the same time. My biggest problem was that I didn't get enough sleep causing me to feel achy. Despite that, Pete and I drove up Highway 1 yesterday and had lunch at Ragged Point. Seriously, we live in one of the most beautiful places on earth! It was a nice trip that got me out of the house for a few hours. Plus I had a burger, fries and milkshake which helps with my weight struggle! I've NEVER had the problem of trying to KEEP weight on until now.

So, back to September 19. We're really picking up here just after midnight when the day was young. When the nurse came in to check on me she apologized, but said she was going to have to take me off the pain meds since my blood pressure was so low, she tipped the bed so my head was lower than my feet to ensure that my brain was getting enough oxygen and asked for blood to be brought in. I'm not sure how long it took, but at some point my room had about 10 people in it. Pete stood in the doorway trying not to heave. He was completely freaked out! The head nurse from ICU came in and took over. They were starting new IVs where ever they could locate a vein, which was a challenge since my blood level was down so low. I remember watching people holding units of blood in the air and squeezing them down manually to try to force the blood into my system faster. Plus there were also bags of IV fluid at the same time. In the end, I ended up with 5 IVs. But, I'm jumping ahead!

They finally got me stabilized, with a good blood pressure and pulse rate. Kate, my surgeon had come in and they felt they had successfully gotten some sort of a bleed to clot itself. So, Pete went back to the hotel, Kate went home and all was well.  Or so we thought!!  Some time around 2:00am, my vitals started to deteriorate once again and the whole process started over. More fluids, more blood, Kate came in and asked for a surgical team to come in (for the second time), Pete (who had just fallen asleep) came back in. This time around they completely lost a pulse and a blood pressure. Eventually, they got me stabilized again and the surgical team was allowed to go home. Pete stayed, completely exhausted. Remember, he hardly slept the night before and had been up since about 6:00am. Kate vowed to stay until we were absolutely positive I was out of the woods. She held my hand most of the time. They moved me down to ICU where they could keep a closer eye on me.

While I was in the ICU the head physician there, who was a LOVELY woman for some reason unknown to me began a process of trying to put an IV into my jugular vein on the right side of my neck. She was having such problems with this. They were using an ultrasound machine to try to find the vein. Later, she told me that I had "unusual anatomy," that it wasn't where it is on most people. Again, Kate is holding my hand and talking to me during this whole episode. They had injected Lidocain into my neck and it felt like she was digging in my neck. This was a 12 gauge needle too, not some tiny little thing. It was BIG! She eventually gave up and they decided to do it while I was back in the OR. Oh, I forgot to tell you my vitals were slipping again! So, the surgical team was called in for a third time and they wheeled me into the OR. By now, it was about 5:30am.  I remember laying there looking at Kate dressed in her dark green sweatshirt that said "Ireland" across it. She looked at me and said "this is not life-threatening, Melanie." I just stared at her. She said, "You are giving me a look that says you are not sure you believe me. (stearnly) I promise you, Melanie, this is not life-threatening." And then I woke up in the ICU.

As they wheeled me out of the ICU, someone told me that they might have to keep me on the ventilator and when I woke up I might be intubated. How nice was that for them to warn me??? They kept me in a chemical coma until about 2:30 in the afternoon, Pete by my side. I believe they stopped the meds and then as I showed signs of waking up, they disconnected the hose from the tube to make sure I was able to breathe on my own. I woke up with the tube still in my chest. What an uncomfortable feeling! I just laid there and breathed until the nurse came and pulled that thing out. If I remember correctly, it was about 12-14 inches long. Yuck. Plus my throat took a good 2+ weeks to recover. I stayed in ICU that night....what a noisy, crazy, unrestful place to stay! I slept all of about 1 hour with all the alarms and people talking and being crazy! One man kept saying, "Lois, get in here right now!" I finally asked who Lois was. Apparently some relation to him, but she was not anywhere in the ICU!

Tomorrow I'll tell you about my first morning as a conscious person in the ICU.